I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
