Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
