wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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