Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I want to fling myself into the sun
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
