i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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