Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize