mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
