CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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