Buhtt sex?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
