Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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