I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
