i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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