Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
