my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up under a house in Key West
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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