just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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