Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
