Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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