there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
