You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
