I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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