I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
