She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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