I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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