Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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