I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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