...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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