I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize