your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
