you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
