i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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