I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
