i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
