there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
