i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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