i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
