you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
