theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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