Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
