VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
