it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Alive.
So much puke
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
