Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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