I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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