I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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