she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
