Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
