I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
