I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
