I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
