SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
