If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
