where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
