I accidentally burped into my bong.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
