That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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